Scariest News EVER

David Bowie had an emergency angioplasty. DAVID FUCKING BOWIE. If Iggy Pop dies, we'll be sad but not surprised. If Paul McCartney dies, we'll wonder why he wasn't the first to go. If Lou Reed or Keith Richards were to die, no one (including them) would notice for months and they'd keep making public appearances. They might be dead already, really. But Bowie? That's not happening. Sure, he was so whacked on speedballs that he hardly remembers recording the Ziggy Stardust album, sure he had to flee to Berlin to kick his massive coke habit, but so what? His eyes are two different colors, which, as anyone will tell you, means he is invincible. This heart surgery thing is seriously distressing. Could Labyrinth have been a sign of weakness?